Big Decisions

 A big decision has been made in the Kuenning household. Before I make the announcement I would like to thank everyone for your love and support. Jeff and I are extremely blessed to have all of you in our lives!

A few months ago, after a painful failed match we decided to pursue IVF again. So ensued daily appontments and injections. This time all of this was done in complete secrecy from our friends and family. The pressure needed to not be present. Clincally we had a wonderful cycle and a result we now have 6 beautiful frozen embryos. The downside of this was we suffered our second loss. After this devistating news our doctor did a whole panel of test and found out a potential reason for our repeat loss'   We hope that the plan laid is the right one to yield success. 

For the present time we our putting our adoption plans on hold and are leaning heavily on God for what we have to do. 

Please continue to pray for us.  Our family one day will be whole and at this time know that this is what we should be doing and hope that everyone supports our decision.

For now this will be my final post and will update those that are willing to listen through private talks.

Again thank you everyone for your continued love and support.

Love always
Jeff and Jenny

Waiting is hard...

It's been a while since I've posted. Not sure what to say as this process is getting more and more frustrating. It's tough to have strength and tough to have faith...We have no new updates to share at this time, but continue to be thankful for our friend and families support through this journey.

I found this quote this evening that sums up how I feel at this moment...

“The problem, simply put, is that we cannot choose everything simultaneously. So we live in danger of becoming paralyzed by indecision, terrified that every choice might be the wrong choice.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert"

All is quiet...too quiet...

This is my first post in a long time! Things have been so quiet on the adoption front over the last month or so that I haven't had much to talk about. No updates from our agency and our views of our profile online have dwindled. We have now been an active family for 7 months and we are almost half way through the average wait time for our program.

We continue to pray that we will be blessed!

In the meantime business has picked up and I start a new job next week. All things to keep me occupied through our wait.

Thank you to everyone for your continued support and love! :)
 

A new week...a new outlook

Last week I posted that Jeff and I turned down the potential for a baby born situation because of the cost associated with the adoption. Just few hours after that post we were contacted again, about the the same baby that they were able to come down in our range. (Don't get me started on how I feel about agencies and attorney's barter the cost of a child). Jeff and I agreed to the match and according to all parties involved she was committed to her decision and she would sign consent on Wednesday, allowing us to go to Ohio and bring the little girl home! However, the stars were never aligned for this to happen. Tuesday she was wavering on her decision and every day she needed "more time". By Friday, Jeff and I were so angry at the situation of having limited information and not being able to get a hold of those working for us that we kept going back and forth on whether or not we should back out. We decide to stick with it through the weekend and this morning we were told that they were "closing" the books on her and that she was deciding to parent. We're okay with it and know that it wasn't meant to be and that our baby is still out there. :) Our first match was a failure, however our outlook is good and know that with continued faith and support from our family we will prevail!

In the meantime we will continue down the path of preparing for the pending arrival, whenever it may be!

xoxo
Jen :)

Rejecting and Being Rejected

The past week has been rough. Again we were presented and again we weren't chosen. Again, not meant to be. Today, we receive a call about a baby born last night and have to reject the offer because it's above our adoption budget. Damn!

It sucks, for lack of a better term, to be so close and to watch it float away. Saying no is never easy, especially when when you think ahead, this time next week I could have a newborn baby girl asleep in her room. Being said no to, is even harder! I equate the rejection of a birth mom choosing another family to seeing a negative on a HPT. It's THE WORST FEELING!!

Baby K are you out there??

When she doesn't pick you...

For the last 8 days Jeff and I have been anxiously awaiting news on whether or not a birth mother would be choosing us or the other family presented to her...she chose them...and suddenly I find myself wondering is there something wrong with us? Will we ever hear good news?

And while I know that this baby wasn't meant to be ours, and that Baby K is still out there...rejection is never easy.

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." Winston Churchill

It's been a while

Wow, I can't believe we are already into February! January was over in a blink. Things have been crazy busy with "normal" day to day that I haven't had much time to write and update. The last time I wrote was a very frustrating day to say the least, and I've had many more since then.

Since then we have the signed, approved home study in hand. It feels good to finally have that and it gives us the opportunity to seek situations without feeling like we have to rush some of the paperwork or pay extra. Other than that, all is quiet as usual. Last week, through chance, we were able to forward our profile to an expectant mother.Though we haven't heard whether she chose us or not, at least we can say our profile has been seen. The situation seemed ideal however the other shoe fell and we learned more about her family medical history and her past and current situation that if selected we aren't necessarily comfortable with taking the risk. I know...we want a baby...bad, but if it doesn't feel right, it doesn't feel right. You can only hope and pray that there is a family out there that is right for the little one.

While we continue to wait for that "right" situation, we did some research on the Catholic Charities here in our area and we might be joining their list of prospective parents. Also, I've been busy bugging Jeff about our nursery and at least getting a head start on the prep of the room. I've selected a theme and selected wall colors. I feel like if I keep working on this room and "prepping" for baby K's arrival that we will be rewarded sooner rather than later!

This week, I also hope to create a facebook page as a supplement to our online profile. Maybe through this form of networking we can identify a birth mother or someone who knows someone. Stranger things have happened.

This is why I haven't gave up...

Today has defintely been one of those days where the thought has crossed my mind several times to quit, move on and never look back...This quote sums up why I haven't given up...


Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone

My desire to be a mom is strong, and the desire to love something so deep is stronger.

On a positive note our home study has been approved! A little under 3 months from start to finish.

Just praying that our little one is out there and that 2012 will be a blessed year for our family